Learning Curve Page 9

  Under normal circumstances she followed the discussion closely, but today she couldn’t focus on anything other than the kiss she’d just shared with Ash. Part of her wanted to be furious that Ash had kissed her. She thought she’d made it perfectly plain that she wanted to keep their interaction platonic. At the same time, she realized it was unfair to pin all the blame on Ash. The woman had a raw sexuality that was purely magnetic, and despite ample warning from others, Carrie found her hard to resist. Ash could be so disarming and so sexy all at once, it would be dishonest to pretend she wasn’t interested. She also genuinely enjoyed the time they spent together.

  “Carrie?” Rita’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

  The students were looking at her expectantly.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “We just wanted to know who we should call to have a little stage set up for the rally,” one of the girls repeated.

  “Oh, that would be the facilities office,” Carrie answered, embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming.

  She hoped the students couldn’t tell what she was thinking about, though she felt like it was written all over her face. Surely her lips were swollen from the kiss. Was that really just a kiss? If so, then she had never been kissed before. She’d certainly never felt like this in the past. Her breathing quickened as she remembered the feel of their bodies connecting. Ash had been so tender and passionate, all her logic and reasoning had left her completely. The minute their lips met, a current of desire overwhelmed her senses. She hadn’t tried to resist; she didn’t want the feeling to end. Even now, her body ached from the withdrawal.

  “That’s in the student center, right, Carrie?”

  “No, the facilities office is under the buildings and maintenance department.”

  Several of the girls exchanged uncomfortable glances. “We were talking about getting flyers printed up for the event.”

  “Oh.” Carrie flushed. “Yes, the printer is in the student center. Just have it billed to the organization’s account.”

  The students resumed their discussion, but Carrie didn’t miss the suspicious look Rita gave her. Oh, no. She’s figured it out.

  Carrie was horrified by that possibility. She’d been so caught up in the heat of the moment that she’d failed to fully process the awkward exchange between Rita and Ash. There was obviously a history between them; it was plain to see from the looks on their faces. Was the same look on hers? Would Rita recognize it? What about the others? Would they know? How many of them had been placed in similar situations by Ash?

  Carrie wasn’t naïve. She knew her lesbian students spent a great deal of their weekends at the Triangle Club and that they weren’t looking for long-term, monogamous relationships. The thought that their dating pool had suddenly combined with hers made her stomach churn. How many of her students had Ash slept with? Would Rita tell them that their trusted advisor had given in to the same temptation? It didn’t matter that she hadn’t actually slept with Ash. Rumors about a usually poised and professional professor in a compromising position were too juicy for anyone to check the facts. By the time the news made its way to the dean…

  Carrie felt dizzy. A rumor like that was exactly what he was looking for. It would undermine her academic credibility by blurring the boundaries between her and her students, and show a moral weakness for meaningless sexual encounters. It didn’t matter that they had just kissed, and it didn’t matter that the kiss was far from meaningless to her. The mere appearance of impropriety was all Dean Phillips needed.

  Carrie stood abruptly, fighting off a wave of nausea. “Girls, I’m not feeling well today. I think I’m going to head home for the afternoon.”

  “Okay,” one of them said, “I’ll just e-mail you my meeting notes.”

  “Feel better,” another chimed in.

  Carrie mumbled her thanks as she headed out the door. For a few seconds she hesitated, staring toward her office, but she had her satchel with her and didn’t have to return for keys. The last thing she needed right now was to see Ash, and if she slipped out now she would have almost an entire week before having to face her again. Hopefully with some time and space, she would be able to get a grip on herself.

  *

  “Ash? You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?”

  “What? Yeah, of course I have.” Ash tried to focus her attention on Mary.

  “You big fibber. Something happen today that you want to talk about?”

  Something had happened, all right, but did she want to talk about it? Ash wasn’t sure. She didn’t know whether to be mad at Rita for bursting in on them, or herself for sleeping with one of Carrie’s students. She was also irrationally angry at Carrie for making her worry about something that had happened before they met. She’d waited for hours for Carrie to come back to the office, and even considered going to look for her, but there was no way she was going to chase after a woman she barely knew. It didn’t matter how amazing the kiss had been. So she’d left the office, and now, several hours later, she was having dinner with Mary and Sharon.

  “Weren’t you supposed to meet with Carrie about her shelves this afternoon?” Mary asked.

  Sharon looked up from her pork chop and green beans. “Yeah. How did that go?”

  “It was fine.” Ash stuffed a fork full of beans into her mouth to avoid having to answer any more questions.

  “Are you and her…?” Sharon raised her eyebrows.

  “No,” Mary cut in. “They aren’t.” Turning to Ash, she asked, “Are you?”

  “No!”

  “No? Or not yet?” Sharon grinned.

  “For crying out loud, can we talk about something else?” Ash muttered.

  Sharon shrugged. “I didn’t realize you were so sensitive about her.”

  “I’m not. I just don’t want to discuss my relationship status every time we eat together. Okay?”

  An uneasy silence stretched between them. Ash could almost hear her friends thinking out loud. Mary had to know that something was up. She could read her like a book, and Sharon knew her well enough to know she didn’t get bent out of shape about women. She was sure they could both see the effect Carrie was having on her. Ash struggled to come up with an innocuous conversation starter, but when she failed to think of a less loaded topic she pretended to be engrossed in her dinner until they were mercifully interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

  Sharon got up and answered it, her voice only partially distinguishable through the kitchen wall. Obviously she wasn’t thrilled with whoever was on the other end of the line. Ash glanced at Mary, who just shrugged.

  After a minute or two, Sharon came back and Ash could tell by the look on her face that she wasn’t happy. “That was the store.”

  “Oh, don’t tell me—”

  “I can’t help it. I have to work this Saturday. Dave threw out his back.”

  Mary dropped her napkin on her plate and immediately started cleaning. “You promised you’d be off this weekend. The kids from the center have been looking forward to this camping trip all summer.”

  “I don’t want to work, but I have to.”

  Mary gathered up a handful of dishes and carried them into the kitchen. The stiffness of her shoulders made her anger plain.

  “What’s the deal?” Ash asked Sharon.

  “I promised to help chaperone the youth center camping trip. So Dave throws out his back and I’m the only other manager in town. Great.”

  “Why can’t they just get one of the other volunteers to go?”

  “It’s Amy and Tara’s anniversary, so they’re in Chicago,” Mary interjected from the other room.

  “And Michael?”

  Mary’s voice filled with frustration. “Michael will be there, but that makes only three of us. We need at least four adults.”

  “Who’s the third?”

  “I’d tell you, but you don’t want to talk about her,” Mary snapped.

  “Come on, Mary,” Sharon said. “You’re mad at
me. Don’t take it out on her.”

  Mary returned to face her partner, hands on hips. “You promised you’d take this weekend off. The kids were counting on you. I was counting on you. Now we’re going to have to cancel after three months of planning.”

  “I know that, and I feel awful, but what do you want me to do? I could wheel Dave’s bed into the store, but I’m pretty sure that isn’t going to solve anything.”

  “I don’t care what you or Dave do. I just want you do to something.”

  Ash thought for just a split second about the prospect of spending the weekend in a tent with Carrie, and said, “I’ll do it.”

  “What?” Sharon and Mary stared at her as if she’d lost her mind.

  “I’ll chaperone the camping trip with you.”

  Mary regarded her suspiciously. “Why?”

  “You’re my best friend, and it’s important to you,” Ash said with conviction. “And I survived a Saturday night at the center. What’s one more weekend?”

  “Is this about Carrie?”

  Ash felt her checks flush. She didn’t want to consider the full consequences of her offer. “I thought you needed a chaperone. Do you want my help or not?”

  “Mary,” Sharon cut in cautiously, “you said yourself how much you wanted Ash to get involved in the center.”

  Mary rolled her eyes. “Don’t use her to get yourself out of trouble.”

  Sharon wisely shut her mouth, and she and Ash waited while Mary seemed to be considering her options. She finally gave a heavy sigh. “All right. I’m still not convinced your motives are pure, but the kids are really looking forward to this trip. Can you be ready to leave at two on Friday afternoon?”

  “Sure.” Ash nodded even though it was only true in the literal sense. She could certainly be packed, but when it came to the feelings that accompanied any time spent with Carrie, she doubted she would ever be truly ready.

  Chapter Eight

  “I’m going to put those ponchos in my wagon. Why don’t you look over this?” Mary handed a map of Alliance Rock State Park to Carrie.

  “It’s not supposed to rain this weekend,” Carrie responded absentmindedly.

  Mary tucked the bright yellow rain gear into the tightly packed storage area of her Subaru station wagon regardless. “Which area should we head for?” she asked.

  Carrie unfolded the map and scanned the page, completely failing to take anything in. “Um, the one closest to a real bathroom?”

  “All the camping areas have bathrooms. Are you even looking at the map?” Mary pointed to the restroom signs next to each tent area.

  “I’m not some kind of nature lesbian,” Carrie protested. “I’m one of the purely academic types. Why don’t you let Sharon decide where we are going to stay?”

  “About that.” Mary lifted guilty eyes.

  Carrie regarded her suspiciously. “What?”

  “Sharon can’t make it, so Ash is coming along.”

  “Ash?”

  “We need another adult on the trip and she was the only one available on such short notice.”

  “When did you plan on mentioning this to me?”

  “I didn’t think it would be a big deal.” Mary avoided looking her in the eye.

  She obviously knew something had happened between them, Carrie thought, cursing herself for the thousandth time. First Rita, now Mary. Before long the entire town would know how weak she was. It was a high price to pay for a simple kiss.

  Maybe simple wasn’t exactly the right term. It had been two days and Carrie still couldn’t forget the feel of Ash’s lips on hers, or the easy way their bodies fit together. She had lain awake at night trying to analyze how things had gotten so out of control so quickly, but she hadn’t come up with any reasonable answer. In fact, her attraction to Ash seemed to defy logic in every single way. She couldn’t trust her body when Ash was around, and apparently she couldn’t depend on her mental control, either. The thought of spending an entire weekend around her was completely unnerving. She was going to have to try to maintain a safe distance and cling to any professional reserve she had left.

  “It’s not a big deal,” she lied to both Mary and herself. Everything will be fine as long as I don’t look at her.

  “Good,” Mary said resolutely, “because here she comes.”

  *

  Ash pulled the Mustang into Mary’s driveway and hopped out to greet her. She glanced over at Carrie hopefully but was disheartened when she turned away. She hadn’t exactly expected a warm welcome, but she’d hoped Carrie would at least acknowledge her.

  “Are you sure you still want to do this?” Mary asked.

  No, Ash thought. Now that she’d had more time to think, she’d started to wonder what she had gotten herself into. She didn’t like teenagers, she didn’t like camping, and she certainly didn’t expect to like combining the two. She’d also realized she would probably have to spend as much time with Tess as she did with Carrie. Then there was the Rita factor. Ash had to assume from Carrie’s disappearance on Wednesday that she knew about Rita and wasn’t pleased. Maybe Carrie wouldn’t even speak to her. Ash shook off that thought. She didn’t care what it took. There was no way she was spending a weekend in a tent with Tess and not getting through to Carrie.

  “I said I’d go, and I meant it,” she answered, then added, “I’ll be fine.”

  “I hope so, because here comes Michael with some of the kids.”

  Ash turned around to see a Chevy Tahoe. Michael looked even smaller behind the wheel of such a large vehicle. “Is that his car?” she asked.

  Mary nodded. “Not a word about overcompensation, please.”

  “You said it, not me.” Ash chuckled as the new arrivals piled out into Mary’s front yard.

  Michael approached, casting a quick puzzled look in Ash’s direction. “I’m surprised to see you back for more.”

  “Good to see you too, Mike. Nice car.” Ash was not quite able to hide the sarcasm in her voice.

  He eyed her suspiciously. “Thanks.”

  “What have you got in there?” she asked, fighting a grin. “Obviously a V-8. Is it the Vortec forty-eight-hundred or did you go for the fifty-three-hundred?”

  “I went with the leather interior,” Michael said so confidently that it took everything Ash had not to laugh.

  “Good for you, Mikey.”

  “Michael has impeccable taste,” Mary cut in, shooting Ash a look that said that was enough teasing for now.

  “So are you our other driver?” Michael asked.

  “Oh, I don’t think so,” Ash answered.

  Mary cocked her head to the side as if she was thinking about it. “Well, I guess your car is bigger than Carrie’s. She’s just got a hatchback.”

  Ash felt herself shudder both at the mention of Carrie’s name and the word hatchback. She hated the idea of driving her pride and joy into the woods, but the thought of being in the Mustang with Carrie by her side was enough to win her over. Mary and Michael spent a few minutes figuring out who would take which boys and girls. After they’d settled on the passenger lists, Mary strolled over to Carrie. Ash watched their conversation from a distance, trying to gauge what they were saying by their body language.

  “You’re not her type,” came a smug voice, and Tess set down a cooler full of snacks and drinks.

  “Want me to put that in the trunk?” Ash offered, ignoring the comment.

  “You’re so chivalrous.” Tess feigned a swoon.

  Ash had to smile. The kid had a sense of humor; she could give her that.

  A girl Ash hadn’t met yet approached them. She greeted Tess before saying, “Hi, Ash. I’m Michelle Marx. Mary said I should ride with you.”

  Ash returned the girl’s smile. She looked about Tess’s age, but a few inches shorter. Her brunette hair was shoulder length and she wore jeans and a light blue sweatshirt. She kept her eyes on Tess the whole time she spoke to Ash, a fact that didn’t escape any of them. Ash told her to put her stuff in the car
.

  “You can take Tess with you,” she added teasingly.

  “Fine.” Tess shrugged. “But if I’m going to ride in the Mustang, I’ve got shotgun.”

  Ash shook her head. “Not on your life.”

  “Are you saving that spot for me?”

  Ash’s heart jerked into a rapid pace as Carrie walked toward her. The comment wasn’t exactly the warm welcome she had hoped for, but it was a start. “If you want it, it’s all yours.”

  Carrie shrugged. “Mary made the car assignments, not me.”

  “Mary gets what Mary wants,” Ash replied, suppressing a grin.

  Carrie brushed past Ash without a blink. “Sounds like someone else I met recently.”

  *

  The drive to Alliance Rock State Park took just over an hour. That is to say that it took just over an hour to get there when driving the speed limit, which Mary insisted they do even though Carrie could tell it was killing Ash to go so slow in the Mustang.

  “This is a great car,” Michelle said as soon as they got on the road.

  “Thanks,” Ash replied. “Are you into cars?”

  “Not really. I mean, I like to look at them, but I don’t really know anything about them.”

  Ash smiled one of those wonderfully disarming smiles that made it so hard for Carrie to remember why she was mad at her in the first place. “Cars are easy to figure out. Everything is connected to something else in a logical chain. If you just follow the logical steps, the car will always come through for you. That’s what I like about them.”

  “It also doesn’t hurt if the car is a total chick magnet,” Tess added.

  Ash’s reaction was surprisingly nonchalant. “Tess, if you need a car to help you meet women, then you are going after the wrong kind of women.”

  “Sure, I’ll bet you’ve never turned down any backseat action.”

  “Tess,” Carrie cut in. It wasn’t that she disagreed with anything Tess was saying, she just didn’t want to be reminded of Ash’s reputation.